Sep 30th 2018
29 Dogs Sleeping In Hilarious Positions
They say to let sleeping dogs lie ... but does that apply when the said dog is sleeping on your gear shift? As it turns out, yes. Then you should take a picture of it and put it on the Internet. Then, who knows? Maybe it will end up on Topix. (It will definitely end up on Topix.) Speaking of which, we've assembled the funniest pics of dogs sleeping in the darnedest places -- and man, do these doggos know how to nap. As it turns out, dogs will nap literally anywhere they want as long as they are tired and the floor is not made out of lava. Just check out these 29 doggos who walked into a room one day and decided it would be their new bed. Some of them didn't really think it through, though, and ended up in hilariously compromising positions. Ah well, sometimes being a dog is hard. All that running and fetching and rolling over and being petted can really take a lot out of you. Then you just gotta crawl into whatever nearby spot looks comfortable and roll up into a ball or other similarly weird shape, and then drool to your heart's content!
Naps Aren't Just for Cats
"The thread count on this shoulder is excellent!" - This dog, after trying several other shoulders and deciding that they were not, in fact, excellent. A few hours later, his new real estate suddenly moved from the couch to get snacks -- leaving him to either find a new shoulder or resort to sleeping in a bed like common trash.
This Dog Is All Of Us
Rent is too high, millennials are getting screwed by tax laws, and avocado toast is too darn expensive -- and this dog knows it. After everything life has thrown at him, this canine is just tired as hell and not going to take it anymore. He's 2018 in a nutshell.
Floorgi
When you're a dog and you can't even, you have no choice but to lay out on the floor and wait for things to calm down. This doggo had the right idea in just plopping down wherever he saw fit -- but hopefully, for his sake, the dog days will be over soon!
Mr. Universe
I'd like to point out that this dog has an eight pack. Think of that next time you feel sorry for yourself because it's Leg Day or you have to eat a salad. Like, if this rippling hunk of pure muscle can pull himself off the couch every morning to maintain his physical superiority, then you can eat a salad.
Plankster
Come on, doggo, planking was so 2011. The new thing is the "In My Feelings" challenge. If your human told you to do this, then he or she is either behind the times or purposely trying to humiliate you in front of a national audience. Get a new human, or study up on viral trends. Your future is in your hands.
Downward Dog
This chill pupper looks like he just finished out a yoga sesh on the world's tiniest yoga mat. In reality, he probably just did the warrior pose for five minutes before getting tired and ordering Seamless. He was never that into yoga anyway; he only did it because it was recommended by his vet.
Violin Concerto in the Key of Flea
When you're a starving artist, you'll sleep anywhere ... including your own instrument case. I just hope that this canine composer didn't actually need any money, because it would probably be hard for people to throw dollars into his case right now. Well, that and he's also neglecting to make any music.
Food Coma
Eating is exhausting! Case in point: This doggo, who seemingly exerted so much energy feasting on his Kibbles 'n Bits that he involuntarily fell asleep in them. Alternatively, he could have also just fallen asleep here because he preferred it to a bed. There's no way of knowing if there was actually food in there at any point.
Food Coma Part Two
Was he eating from this bowl or bathing in it? Also, is napping in your food an epidemic among dogs now? Do as many dogs nap in their food as there are dogs that go to heaven -- a.k.a. all of them? Is this dog friends with the first dog?
Food Coma Part Three
OK. So now it seems pretty clear that in order to be considered a dog, you must have at some point slept in your own food. There clearly is some sort of rite of passage ceremony in the dog community in which a future dog must sleep in his or her food in front of a council of elders.
Ah, the Great Outdoors
It takes a truly inspiring amount of apathy to stroll outside, take in the verdant greenery and invigorating smells of nature ... and still tell it all to f*ck off. Today we salute you, Mr. Dog Who Went Outside for a Walk and Gave No F*cks. You are a god.
The Floorgis Have Multiplied
One of these fellas didn't get the memo. Or maybe he's just a rebel who refuses to conform to the restrictive sleep patterns of his floorgi brethren. Maybe he's a true original who puffs on a cigar in the corner of the yard while the other floorgis play fetch. Maybe, one day, he'll be the leader of the Resistance.
The Majestic Doggo
This is the majestic doggo in her natural habitat. Behold the grace. Behold the wonder. Behold the miraculous display of power and dignity in the face of true adversity. Revel in her regality. Embrace her preternatural wisdom. Go forth and tell others that this girl was the goodest girl who ever walked among us. We do not deserve this.
Driving Miss Doggo
And just like the 1989 Jessica Tandy vehicle Driving Miss Daisy, this dog has stolen our hearts. Where was this dog going when she fell into the clutches of the Nap God? There aren't many places that would be so boring to a dog that she would fall asleep en route -- except for maybe the vet?
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Doggo
If the story of this doggo's life were a book, it would be entitled A Tail of Two Pillows by Charles Doggins. It would immediately top the New York Times Best Sellers List due to its captivating story of a pupper that triumphed over the constricting grip of her pillow overlords.
Letting It All Hang Out
This dog is always stuck in second gear. That's a reference to the Friends theme song. Here's another one: "Your job's a joke, you're broke / Your love life's D.O.A."
I didn't change that to be about dogs because it's already true for a lot of people and I wanted to pay respect to that.
The Pelican Brief(ly) Took a Nap
(Sung to tune of "Bunny and Kitty" from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) "Doggo and birdie, being best friends ... Together forever, the fun never ends ... Solving mysteries one nap at a time ... Doggo and birdie, two of a kind!!" If you have never seen or heard of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, then I hope that was still enjoyable for you.
There Was a Little Dog Who Lived in a Shoe
Haven't you heard of the old axiom, "If the shoe fits, sleep in it?" Or at least I THINK that's how it goes. I might be thinking of the version of it that doesn't have to do with dogs sleeping in weird AF places. Like, actually though, was this dog looking for something?
Asleep at the Wheel
There's a bed like five inches away, but sure Mr. Pupper. Keep everyone from their trip to Kmart just because you needed to get your beauty sleep while also simultaneously escaping the confines of your perfectly comfortable pupper bed. There is no doubt in my mind that you are going to grow up to be a dog sociopath.
This Dog Is On Pot(s)
"Yes, this pot is a GREAT substitute for a pillow, zzzzzz" - This Dog, after refusing actual pillows and pushing away everyone he knows and loves, probably. Little did he know that there was a human just feet away capturing his poor life choices on film for all of the world to see.
Let's Table This Discussion
This position does not seem comfortable on any level. What recalcitrant neuron in this dog's brain decided to misfire and make this dog make such a bad decision? He's going to wake up with his neck feeling like he just played fetch for three hours, but without the associated job satisfaction. In this case, the best course of action would be to NOT let sleeping dogs lie.
That's Gonna Hurt Later
In napping, you are either in or you are out. No, seriously, pick one! You can't have it both ways. To be fair, though, this dog has a longer neck than most of her canine cousins, so it's not her fault that she looks ridiculous. I should be shaming whomever decided that the world needed a breed of dogs with giraffe necks.
Hmm ...
It appears as though he got distracted by something after chasing a ball under the couch. What do you think was under there? Misplaced toys? Other dogs? Another dimension filled with joy, laughter, and fetch? Or did he just fall asleep because it was dark and he thought it was night? Probably that.
What Even ...?
What was this dog even doing in the first place? And where did everything go wrong? Did he fall asleep mid-jump? Was he trying to do a handstand? A headstand? A somersault? Parkour? Did someone encourage him to do this? Or did he do this of his own volition? Is this dog self-destructive?
That Looks Uncomfortable
OK, now it has become clear that there is actually a serious epidemic of dogs falling asleep mid-action. Is someone behind this? Has a criminal mastermind learned how to control the sleep patterns of dogs so that there are more adorable viral photos in the world distracting us from our lives and responsibilities? If so, then we are in debt to them.
Put Your Paws in the Air
This time, there appears to be no foul play. This dog clearly fell asleep in a normal supine pose on the couch before rolling over in his sleep. Perhaps he was dreaming about running, or fetching, or running. Perhaps he just succumbed to gravity. Who can really know what goes on in the mysterious brains of dogs?
Counting Sheep
It may not look like it, but he's totally herding right now. He's just, like, visualizing it first -- and visualizing can easily be mistaken for sleeping. In any case, he at least has a comfy woolen bed to sleep -- er, visualize -- on. And at least he's staying on top of his work -- literally.
Patio Pup
Unfortunately, the doggo does not come with the set. The set just happens to double as an attractive napping location for worn-out pups with low standards of comfort. But seriously, does this dog not know there are better, more comfortable options out there? Or does he know and just not care? It's entirely possible that this dog is a masochist.
What ... a ... Day!
Man, what a day. Like, this gal probably woke up and ran around a bit, then pooped somewhere and chewed on a stick for the better part of an hour. Then, if she had any time left before her scheduled lunch of Kibbles n' Bits, she MAYBE had time to stare raptly in the mid-distance at a squirrel. Dogging is exhausting!
Princess Puppers
This sleeping beauty is just waiting for her prince to come and save her with true love's kiss. Preferably he'll be a golden retriever or some other breed with good pedigree. After all, this princess has a bloodline to maintain: As you can see, she possesses effortless charm and stunning natural beauty.
Bending Over Backwards
Is this dog doing the thing from The Matrix? If so, then I want this dog's autograph, because ... Legend. If not, then seriously what the hell is going on? Is this dog possessed? Is he quadruple-jointed in his neck? As with most dogs on this list, I have more questions than answers.
Benched
"Sir, you can't sleep there. It's too adorable!" - The Cops, after receiving multiple complaints about this adorable pupper sleeping in the local public park. Unfortunately, the police were not able to move this pupper, since they were too overcome by a desire to pet him and tell him that he's a good boy.
D'awwwww
This doggo's sleep number is "cute AF." Also: You can't see it, but his partner's sleep number is also "cute AF." Their combined sleep number is "v cute AF." Unfortunately, however, the "Cute AF" setting on Sleep Number beds is only available to a limited few. And all of those "limited few" are dogs.
Formation
Are these dogs sleeping or summoning a spirit? If the first thing is true, then these dogs clearly have some sort of mysterious instinct to only sleep in the shape of an adorable pinwheel. If the second thing is true, then who the heck are they summoning? Lassie? Toto? Hooch from Turner and Hooch?
Doggos Can Manspread, Too
This doggie looks like she fell asleep watching Nascar after a long night of poker and drinking. I imagine she has an unhappy partner who had been hoping for a romantic night of Netflix and chill -- only to find this unseemly scene waiting to greet them. Time for couples counseling.
Spread Your Wings and Prepare to Fly
It's a bird ... It's a plane ... It's Superpup! Defender of men, savior of women ... It's Superpup! He'll scare away squirrels, he'll bark at moving objects ... It's Superpup! He'll dig holes in unlikely places, he'll poop on your enemies' lawns ... It's Superpup! Fight him if you dare! Superpup!
Are We There Yet?
This is the type of thing that you would only see in Beverly Hills. Actually, it's probably mandatory in Beverly Hills for all tiny dogs to be protected by car seats. In any case, I'm glad that this little gal was comfortable enough in her seat to pass out during this trip.
Oops!
There's just no way this dog is sleeping that way on purpose. Someone either put her there or accidentally dropped a doggie snack between the seat cushions, which she promptly chased. Alternately, this dog may have simply been sleeping normally in a horizontal position when an aggressive earthquake suddenly struck.
Didn't Quite Make It To Bed
This can't be comfortable. In fact, there's no WAY this is comfortable. Clearly, this horrifying perversion of everything good and true in the world has not been planned. Clearly, this doggo was trying to reach his warm, comfortable bed when the cruel and unfeeling specter of sleep tightened its grip around him without warning. Sleep in peace, little doggo.
Something's Out of Place
Cat owner: "Exhibit A of why dogs are dumber than cats." Dog owner: "Exhibit A of how dogs are more resourceful than cats." Cat owner: "Exhibit A of why dogs are more of a burden to the local economy than cats." Dog owner: "Exhibit A of how dogs make for better viral photo opportunities than cats." Cat owner: "Exhibit A of how FINE YOU WIN."
What's Wrong With This Picture?
Dogs will do anything to get their bellies rubbed -- even pretend to be a keyboard. But at some point, this fella's owner had to do her taxes. I wonder how long the owner played along before moving the pup to a more appropriate napping location -- like, idk, a bed.
"I Dog-Eared a Page For You"
This dog was just trying to get a decent education, but unfortunately overshot a bit. After realizing that the The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Timewasn't about dogs, he got bored and fell asleep. Next time, he'll hopefully opt for 101 Dalmations, Travels with Charlie or A Dog's Purpose.
City Pup
To quote Westworld, "Have you ever seen anything so full of splendor?" P.S. If you've never seen or heard of Westworld, then I just referenced a part of the show where a character looks at something that is very full of splendor. Westworld is a critically-acclaimed HBO show with robots.
Vet Visit Gone Wrong
To be fair, this is the reaction most dogs have when they're told they're going to the vet. But it doesn't usually happen AT the actual vet. Strange. Clearly, this picture was taken during the Great Planking Epidemic of 2011. There's no other logical explanation for why this incident would have occurred.
Newborn Napper
Minutes after being introduced to this giant, fascinating world, this newborn pupper decided to ... take a nap. For that reason alone, I have a feeling that this pupper is destined for greatness. Only a true American leader could witness such wonder and terror in the world and then blithely ignore it.
Back It Up
This fluffer was just shaking his tailfeather, as one does, when he suddenly fell prey to the wicked clutches of sleep. Now that he has been immortalized by the Internet, he will be forever known as the dog who fell asleep whilst shaking his tailfeather. Of course, there are worse ways to become famous.
Is That What That's For?
Who said the baby seat can't be used for baby doggies, too? Plus, if the result is always this adorable, then I have no complaints. Ultimately, I just hope that this little woofer got a reward in the form of doggie snacks for being such a good little woofer at the grocery store.
Doggie Pile!
In addition to being adorable, this picture reminds me of those fish that live on sharks. I believe they're called remoras. According to biology, remoras and sharks have what is called a "mutual relationship" because they both benefit from their interactions with each other. The remoras eat scraps of food off the sharks' skin, while the sharks get free cleanings. Anyway, this dog is a remora.
Doorstop
The story of how this picture came to be is long, complex, and adorable. Clearly, this little hero was acting as a defender of this house, charged with protecting it from intruders, before she succumbed to the sly machinations of the Sleep Gods. Now she's just a really cute doorstop.
Here's a Bonus Fox!
This is not a dog. This is a fox. But he still has weird AF sleeping habits, and thus deserves a spot on this list as well as a backstory. So here goes: This fox is a good fox who tries his best. He wishes to be a dog, but has accepted the hand he was dealt. He is a good fox.